The Voice of the Voiceless, CM Punk, took to the airwaves as Raw
began, throwing accusations of cowardice in the general direction of
both John Cena and Mick Foley. Punk condemned them for their actions the
previous week (Cena for battering Punk with a lead pipe while the WWE
Champion's back was turned and Foley for a perceived act of disrespect
in the locker room area as Raw went to black). While The Second City
Saint showed little to no remorse for his attack on The Hardcore Legend
in the locker room, he did say that Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy managed to
reach Punk with his impassioned plea to face John Cena at Hell in a Cell
for the WWE Title. That said, he must not have reached the WWE Champion
all too well, because despite Foley's "eloquent" speech, the match was
still not going to happen.
With that business settled, The Voice
of the Voice of the Voiceless, Paul Heyman, was next to step up to the
mic. He took Raw General Manager AJ Lee to task for striking him last
week following the mad scientist's marriage proposal and called for her
termination as GM for violating a previous edict by the WWE Board of
Directors preventing AJ from putting her hands on any competitors,
managers or the like ever again. And who would fill the power void left
by Miss Lee's hypothetical removal from power? Paul Heyman.
Vickie
Guerrero, however, was not having it. Flanked by Dolph Ziggler, the
"Queen Diva" strode to the ring with great purpose and made
her case
for assuming the GM position. Jaw-jacking followed, which left The
Showoff to assume the unlikely role of peacekeeper: What if, Ziggler
posed, Vickie and Heyman were to team up as Co-GMs following AJ's
potential ouster.
This left AJ no choice but to make her presence
known, revealing to her assembled, would-be usurpers that the Board of
Directors had placed her on probation, and she had hired an "Executive
Coach" to help her through an evaluation period. Which promptly brought
out ...
Daniel Bryan?
Yes (yes, yes, yes), Team Hell No's
bearded technical maven stormed down to the ring, somehow managing
between his apoplectic screams of "NO!" to assert that AJ's issues have
been compounded by her dumping at the hands of Bryan following his
WrestleMania loss. Bryan nefariously twiddled his beard as he extolled
his own physical virtues ("I AM HANDSOME!!!!") and championship acumen
("I'M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!"). This brought out Kane, who tossed a
compliment AJ's way ("she is a phenomenal kisser!") before correcting
one of Bryan's points: that Kane, not Bryan, was the Tag Team
Champions.
Chaos followed, with Kane, Bryan, Ziggler, Punk,
Vickie and Heyman all screaming over each other before AJ regained
control of the masses. "This is my show," seethed the boss lady,
decreeing that the night's main event would be Punk & Ziggler facing
the WWE Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No.
